im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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