So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
you never un-have a 4some
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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