But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
