By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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