I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize