My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
