I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
