remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
my poor anus
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
