So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
