I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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