Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
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