Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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