did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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