Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
