I wanna passion pit in your ass
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
