I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize