alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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