He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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