Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
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there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
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Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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