She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
