Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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