ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
