apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
