you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
We were destined to go to rehab together
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
