Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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