So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
