Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I need to align my fucking chakras
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
