Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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