I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
