I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize