5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
and you said cock pushups were impossible
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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