dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
