Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
