i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize