You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
