that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
