I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
