Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
