So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
