im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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