you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
As shirtless as possible
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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