capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
