real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
