turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize