She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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