1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
