i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
