the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
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