Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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