Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
