Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
