We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
