No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
